Searching for perfection: Impossible Run

If our business takes over every moment of life, is that life worth living?

Ali Kurtulmus

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What is it, if not some kind of voluntary servitude, to wait all week long for a Friday evening, a year-round for a summer holiday, a butterfly of happiness that will be put on our shoulders for life?

We see that the idea of a ’repairable self’ has spread from society to young people. Parents are also more controlling and anxious than before. They want to ‘guarantee’ their children’s future. They pass on their own success concerns to their children and are very closely involved with their academic studies. The controlling behavior of perfectionist parents contains both high criticism and counsels children to set high criteria. Children who want to escape criticism from parents and get their approval also adopt these high goals.

Perfectionism is about comparisons. When you compare yourself to someone else, you compare yourself to someone who is not you. The end of this road is always sorrow. Let’s not do that and celebrate our uniqueness. We are not in a race, we are not in comparison: we are beautiful as we are.

The perfectionist’s mind is a high-security prison where people lock themselves. Even though the perfectionist knows that results will not bring oneself happiness, a person would strive for striving. ‘I want this’ is replaced by ‘I have to do this. The perfectionist is in a crisis of enthusiasm: righteousness has replaced fervor, the obligation has replaced enthusiasm. Living is all about doing, and it is wasted unless you constantly add something to it. It doesn't want the journey but wants the target.

Excessive focus on success manifests itself in the form of avoiding defeat. Perfection is actually impossible and can often lead to procrastination behavior. Over the past three decades, perfectionism rates have risen by 30% in Western societies. Today’s generations are expected to achieve the impossible in a professional and educational sense. We think the work we do can define who we are. Our inner voice becomes the color of culture, and the critical tone produces a constant state of unhappiness, inability to please itself. Instead of seeing mistakes as an opportunity to grow and learn, to consider the evidence of not…

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Ali Kurtulmus

A realist writer. I’m writing for a better life. MSc in Data Analytics and Management. Store Merchandiser at LC Waikiki.